Relationships are one of the most tricky, yet vital things
in our lives.
I am not just talking about girlfriends and boyfriends, but
friends and acquaintances too. We have
been programmed to dwell on every minuet detail and characteristic through
shallow Cosmo quizzes and Facebook surveys, to pinpoint what we look for in a
prospective mate. But what about
friends? What is appealing to you about
that friend you have known since middle school?
Probably not their hair color and certainly not how good they are in bed
(although….if that’s your thing, that’s perfectly dandy).
Moving to Chicago has obviously increased the distance
between me and my friends from Michigan, but in turn has pushed me to make new
friends in Chicago.
I have always considered myself someone who can get along
well with others and after being here for only 6 months, I am glad to already
have so many great friends!
The other side to relationships is
breakups. We have all had our fair share
of those…even one can be too many. In an
intimate relationship with a significant other, a breakup can be extremely
devastating and sometimes life altering, even if you have only known someone
for a short amount of time.
I have been broken up with 3 times by guys throughout my
life so far and yes, in each situation I was crushed. However, I have also experienced break ups
with friends. After pondering my full
failed relationships past, I realized even though they were each different,
they all hurt.
About three months ago I met a wildly
independent and funny girl. She was a
few years older than me, but we hit it off right away. We soon began spending all of our free time
together and started talking about living together next year. I joined her
phone plan and there were talks of getting a French bulldog puppy named
Lucy. We dubbed Tuesdays “taco” and
“thrifting” Tuesdays, spending our mornings at The Brown Elephant and evenings
enjoying our homemade fiesta. We
basically became the best of friends overnight, thanking Craigslist (where I posted
an ad looking for a roommate) for brining us together.
With everything going so well, I
was confused by her sudden disinterest in me.
Our time spent together became less and less and it wasn’t just because
of our busy schedules. I slowly began to
realize she was falling hard for this guy who she was working with and all her
extra time was being reserved for him.
The details of that “relationship” are enough for an entirely different
post, but you get the idea. I had been
traded in…swapped out for a boy.
I confronted her about her lack of
commitment to our friendship and her argument back was that we had only known
each other for a short amount of time. While she was right, it still made me
wondering if things would have been any different if we had known each other
since childhood. At what point does raw,
true friendship get swapped out for an intimate relationship? How many friends will be sacrificed by both
men and women before they realize they are the most pure and real relationships
they will ever have?
It is no surprise that all of our
fighting has caused us to drift apart, now to the point of almost never
talking. Like most of us do after a breakup I am left wondering what I
did wrong. What could I have done better? And just like all other hopeful and
broken-hearted people, a part of me wants her to come to her sense and come
But if she doesn’t, I’ll get up and
move on with my life, just as I have done before…thankful for the chance to
have even known her.