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Chicago, IL
United States

Alluring Chicago

Friendship Breakups


Relationships are one of the most tricky, yet vital things in our lives. 
I am not just talking about girlfriends and boyfriends, but friends and acquaintances too.  We have been programmed to dwell on every minuet detail and characteristic through shallow Cosmo quizzes and Facebook surveys, to pinpoint what we look for in a prospective mate.  But what about friends?  What is appealing to you about that friend you have known since middle school?  Probably not their hair color and certainly not how good they are in bed (although….if that’s your thing, that’s perfectly dandy). 
Moving to Chicago has obviously increased the distance between me and my friends from Michigan, but in turn has pushed me to make new friends in Chicago. 
I have always considered myself someone who can get along well with others and after being here for only 6 months, I am glad to already have so many great friends!
The other side to relationships is breakups.  We have all had our fair share of those…even one can be too many.  In an intimate relationship with a significant other, a breakup can be extremely devastating and sometimes life altering, even if you have only known someone for a short amount of time.  
I have been broken up with 3 times by guys throughout my life so far and yes, in each situation I was crushed.  However, I have also experienced break ups with friends.   After pondering my full failed relationships past, I realized even though they were each different, they all hurt. 
About three months ago I met a wildly independent and funny girl.  She was a few years older than me, but we hit it off right away.  We soon began spending all of our free time together and started talking about living together next year. I joined her phone plan and there were talks of getting a French bulldog puppy named Lucy.  We dubbed Tuesdays “taco” and “thrifting” Tuesdays, spending our mornings at The Brown Elephant and evenings enjoying our homemade fiesta.  We basically became the best of friends overnight, thanking Craigslist (where I posted an ad looking for a roommate) for brining us together. 
With everything going so well, I was confused by her sudden disinterest in me.   Our time spent together became less and less and it wasn’t just because of our busy schedules.  I slowly began to realize she was falling hard for this guy who she was working with and all her extra time was being reserved for him.  The details of that “relationship” are enough for an entirely different post, but you get the idea.  I had been traded in…swapped out for a boy. 
I confronted her about her lack of commitment to our friendship and her argument back was that we had only known each other for a short amount of time. While she was right, it still made me wondering if things would have been any different if we had known each other since childhood.  At what point does raw, true friendship get swapped out for an intimate relationship?  How many friends will be sacrificed by both men and women before they realize they are the most pure and real relationships they will ever have?  
It is no surprise that all of our fighting has caused us to drift apart, now to the point of almost never talking. Like most of us do after a breakup I am left wondering what I did wrong.  What could I have done better?  And just like all other hopeful and broken-hearted people, a part of me wants her to come to her sense and come back. 
But if she doesn’t, I’ll get up and move on with my life, just as I have done before…thankful for the chance to have even known her.